Hello loves! I hope you all had a wonderful weekend. As for me, I am on top of the world right now. Why? I just got home from my last class ever as an undergrad! I am so excited to finally be finished, have my bachelors degree, and move on to bigger and better things. It only took 6 years and an eating disorder later, but I did it. This is really a huge accomplishment, so I’m sorry if it seems like I’m bragging, but I think sometimes we need to ‘toot our own horns’ because we are worth it! It is OKAY to recognize and celebrate our accomplishments! This is something that I need to continually remind myself. When others congratulate me, I tend to brush off their compliments like they do not really matter, but you know what? I have GOT to stop doing that. WE have to stop doing that. Accept people’s compliments and allow yourself to recognize the good things that you do. If other people want to praise you for the good things that you do, let them! I know it may be uncomfortable at first, but the more we practice the easier it will get. Believe it or not I think that when we accept other’s compliments, we are actually practicing some self-love because we are allowing our successes to be recognized without refuting the compliment or disagreeing with it. Moral of the story, you are worthy and deserving of everything, including acknowledging and celebrating your accomplishments!
-Now that that rant is over-
I am excited to look forward. In the past, the future seemed so dark and dismal. In fact, I really didn’t think that I had a future. But for the first time in forever, I can see a real future. That scares me sometimes, it definitely comes with its own anxieties, but it’s different from the times where I was in a deep depression and nothing seemed to be looking up. I have to say that I still struggle sometimes, most definitely. I struggle with my eating disorder and my eating disorder thoughts, I still struggle with behaviors, I still experience anxiety that can be crippling and obsessive thoughts that don’t want to go away. HOWEVER, overall, I can handle it. Life will never be perfect, and my struggles may never go away, but if you learn to live with whatever you have going on the best you can, your life will be 10 times better. I am learning how to help myself, and realizing that I deserve to be helped. This is crucial if I want to succeed in my future. I have so many good things that are happening. I just graduated, and in a few weeks I will be starting my Master’s program for Social Work (part time). I can’t wait to get one step closer to my career as a medical/health care social worker! I also just started a new part time job which is the most grown up job I have had yet. In addition to these things, I also recently received a new medical diagnosis that explains the diagnoses that I have had for the past couple of years and the symptoms that just have not been getting better. Now with this new diagnosis, I am hopeful that I will start to feel better with time and a lot of work. Life is far from easy. In fact, it’s pretty damn hard. But I refuse to give up and I am really going to try to enjoy the ride the best I can – even when things aren’t going so well – because every day is a gift, and I want to live like I am thankful for all of it.