Hello loves! I hope all of your weeks are going well. I’m actually really proud of myself for writing this post today. I was determined to follow through with my goal of completing my three posts this week. Right now I am sitting in Starbucks waiting for my sister to get out of school. I knew I would have some time to kill after my lab, so I brought my laptop with the intention of writing while I sip my Green Tea Latte….(yes, it is my new obsession).
My What I Learned Wednesday topic for today is kind of a broad topic, so bear with me while I do my best to articulate my thoughts!
I have had a lot going on the past couple weeks. It has been a time of big decision making and taking steps forward to take control of my future. I decided that I do really want to go on to get my graduate degree in social work, in hopes of becoming a Licensed Clinical Social Worker. This realization has been exciting, nerve wracking, and scary all at the same time. The application deadline is coming up in the beginning of March, and between my current classes, the MSW application, and my illnesses, I feel like I have been spread pretty thin.
One of the challenges that I am faced with is trying to find people to write letters of recommendation for me on applying to the MSW program. It has definitely been a challenge to say the least. I do not go to a small school, I go to a very large research University. I do not know my professors because I have been in lecture halls with 300 people. Not only that, but I switched my major multiple times and have taken a lot of online classes due to my chronic condition. The fact that I have really had to think hard about who could write my letters has definitely been increasing my anxiety.
Anyways, what I have learned the past couple of days is that you need to keep trying. No matter what your situation is, if you do not try it automatically sets you up for failure. I could have very easily given into my anxiety and cancelled the meeting that I had with someone today about the letter, but instead I chose to power through it. Yes, it was kind of scary, and a bit awkward and I could probably think of at least 50 other things that I would have rather been doing, but I got the job done. I am still not finished with this whole process. I am planning on meeting my professor for one of my current classes tomorrow to see if she can write me a letter. I am dreading going through this process again. I am terrified that I will be rejected. My social anxiety has been going crazy with the amount of time I have spent talking with different people. All of this being said, social work is something that I really want to pursue. I know that I can NOT let my anxiety get the best of me right now. It is not an option to listen to my anxiety. I NEED this to work, I NEED to apply to this program. I am not going to let my anxiety and chronic illnesses dictate my future. It is time that I find myself and do what is best for ME…not what my anxiety wants. Sometimes it is really hard to separate me from my anxiety, but I know that I am somewhere buried beneath all that fear and I need to help pull that person out.
So I ask all of you to reflect on what has been holding you back recently…is it anxiety, depression, fear of failure, or falling into comfortable habits? Whatever it may be, just know that you can overcome whatever is keeping you from living your life to the fullest. No, it will not be easy, but it is always possible and know that your future, your life, is well worth the fight.