What I Learned Wednesday: No Need to Feel Ashamed

Hello loves! I hope you are all having a good week so far. I have seen many “What I learned Wednesday” posts, and I really like the idea, so I thought I would do one myself! This is my first one, so bear with me!

I spent this past Columbus Day weekend at my ski cottage with my family. Every Columbus Day weekend the local town holds an art festival which they call “October Fest.” It is a really fun time! The place where I ski has the chairlift running, the leaves are beautiful, and the town is filled with people and tents where you can buy artwork, jewelry, etc. This was always a very active weekend for me in the past. I would usually ride the chairlift up the hills with friends and hike all the way down rather than riding the lift down. Sometimes I would even hike up the hills with my family. In addition to hiking, I would go down town for hours on end looking at all the vendors and wandering through the streets. This year, however, was a very different one. I am no longer able to do all of the activities that I was before due to my medical conditions. At first, I was at a loss as to what I would do last weekend. I thought to myself “I guess I will just stay at the chalet and watch the puppy while my family goes out.” Then it hit me. I really did not want  to stay behind. I wanted to ride the chairlift and I wanted to go downtown. My disability did not have to stop me from doing things that I wanted to do. So I decided to ride up the chairlift with my family. No, we weren’t able to hike down and I did feel a little guilty at first, but they assured me that it was fine and we were at least able to get off the lift at the top and get some great pictures before riding back down!

IMG_1383My next dilemma was going downtown. I wanted to go so badly but thought, “I will need to bring my walker if I go, and what if I see people I know? It will be really crowded and I will just get in people’s way.” After mulling it over for a while, I came to the conclusion that I would push myself and go to the festival. Because you know what? Who cares if I saw people that I know because it doesn’t matter what they think. Also, I knew that there would be other people there with disabilities; I would not be the only one. I had every right to go and attend this event, just as much as anyone else. For the past year I have let my disability run my life and tell me what I can and can not do, and I was not going to let that happen this time. I took charge, took a risk, and went out with my family. It turns out that I did see people that I knew, and to be honest I did feel very uncomfortable. It isn’t common to see someone my age with a walker. Those feelings passed, though, and I was able to work through them. Going down to the festival was exhausting. I ended up pushing myself a little too much with all of the walking that I did. That being said, I would have rather pushed myself too much than not at all. I learned from this experience that I don’t need to be ashamed of my condition. I don’t have to like it, but I don’t need to hide. I need to continue to work on embracing every little part of myself, including my medical conditions, because it is a part of who I am. Maybe it won’t last forever, but it is very much real right now and I cannot stop living my life because of it.

Tell Me: How was your weekend? Did you learn anything new or anything about yourself? I would love to hear from you!

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One thought on “What I Learned Wednesday: No Need to Feel Ashamed

  1. I am so happy you have your walker. It’s nothing to be ashamed of. It represents not a disability, but your ABILITY to do things you otherwise wouldn’t. I am glad you pushed through your uncomfortable feelings and went out to enjoy the festival with your family. You go, Bella!

    Liked by 1 person

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