My Battle With Perfectionism

Hello lovelies!  I hope you are all having a good week so far. Today I wanted to talk a little bit about perfectionism, because lately it has really been getting in my way. It all started the other day…

As most of you know, I am taking three online classes. When I signed up for these courses, I did not expect them to be as difficult as they are presenting themselves to be. Not to mention I am dealing with chronic and mental illness, as well as a new puppy! There have been a lot of challenges and obstacles put in my way, especially when I am trying to accomplish school work…and I am trying, I really am. In fact, the other day I was trying to get ahead in one of my classes so that I can focus on the other two classes more and still have time to take care of the puppy.

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However, I jumped a little too far ahead. While I was taking my online quiz which is due September 27th, I kept thinking “I did not see this information in the text book”, “where is this coming from?” “did I miss something?” Well I did miss something – a big something – which led to a bad grade that I was NOT about to forgive myself for.

Online for each class there are units, and under every unit is a list of things to do or readings to complete. I read the textbook thoroughly, but I missed one of the packets that I needed to print out in order to read. Several of the quiz questions came from that packet that I missed. Hence, receiving a poor grade. I was so angry with myself when I discovered that I missed information and took the quiz too soon. My reaction was probably very dramatic for the situation, I started crying and having a panic attack….yup…over one bad grade! I took a quiz and completed an assignment two weeks ago and did great. I think what happened is that my perfectionism just took over. I am so critical of myself and hard on myself to the extreme, making me highly sensitive to anything that I do wrong. I judge myself harshly; I am my own worst critic. I think a lot of us are our own worst critics. I have found that those with eating disorders are especially judgmental and hard on themselves, and are perfectionists to a higher degree. I was talking about this mishap with my therapist the other day, and I told her “I made a mistake-I am not allowed to make mistakes.” She looked at me for a while and said “Everyone makes mistakes…and when you allow yourself to make mistakes you will be just like the rest of us.” Then it hit me. No one is perfect, including me! I have known this for a while, but I never really let the idea sink in and I never actually applied it to my life. It is one thing to know the statement “no one is perfect” is true, but it is another to actually utilize that information and apply it to your own life. Everyone makes mistakes, no one is perfect, and it is okay to mess up. It is perfectly okay to settle for just good enough. Whatever you take away from this post, I hope you realize how perfect all of your imperfections are and that we all need to make mistakes to grow as individuals; they make us who we are.

born to be real

Have a great day everyone!

~BellaX0

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7 thoughts on “My Battle With Perfectionism

  1. Awww Fiona is so cute in that picture! I suffer from perfectionism too, I remember when my therapist first floated the theory that I had perfectionist traits and I thought “I’m way too much of a failure to be a perfectionist” then I realised how harsh and perfectionist that judgement was… So yup, me too…but it’s good to know you can soften and give yourself permission to go for the bronze or silver medal instead of beating yourself for the silver xxx Em

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    1. Wow that’s the same thing that I said too when I was first introduced to the idea! “But I don’t do good enough to be a perfectionist” kind of funny how that thought process works. Anyways, thanks for sharing! 😊💜

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  2. We all can’t be good at everything. Your example is what most of us go through about something in our lives. I was always a top student in high school. When I got to college, I thought, “Am I the dumbest one here?” I had to get over it and move on. Here’s what I try to keep in mind:

    Question: What do you call a person who graduates at the bottom of the class from the lowest-rated medical school there is?
    Answer: Doctor!

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  3. It is very hard not to self-criticize, but your therapist is right — everyone makes mistakes. So, if I bake a birthday cake and it’s a little lopsided, or I knit a scarf and one end comes out wider than the other, I just tell myself, “That’s how you know it’s homemade!” I am no expert, but I can definitely say that every time I am able to let a little perfectionism go, I get a LOT more done. Sounds like you are working very hard with your classes. That’s fantastic! Good for you.

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