What I Want My Friends To Know

Good morning lovelies! Happy Friday!

So, last night I was invited to go to a concert with a good friend of mine and his two younger sisters. Unfortunately, I was too sick to go. I wanted to write a post about this for all of my chronic illness friends and those who suffer from anxiety because I know how it feels when you want to do something, but physically and or mentally, cannot. At first I really let it bother me. I was super upset and going back and forth between “should I just suck it up, go, and pay the price later?” or “should I stay in and try to get together with my friend another day?” After grappling with the two options for a while, I finally decided that it would be best for me not to go. I would have loved to see my friend, but this just wasn’t the right time, place, or event. That being said, it does not make the situation less frustrating and upsetting. I really wanted to be able to go, but I knew that it would just be way too much for my body. Not only that but I was worried about the loud noises irritating me and increasing my anxiety. I think my biggest fear that came from yesterday’s situation is that people will stop inviting me places because of my illnesses out of assumption that I will always say no. Just like any other person with chronic illness, I don’t want to be forgotten about and stop being invited to places. I think that if friends were to stop inviting me to go out I would be crushed. What I do have to come to terms with, however, is that there will be people in my life who may give up and stop asking me to hang out. On the other hand, there will also be friends of mine who never stop hanging out with me and invite me places-and those are the best friends to have and keep.

owl

What I also realized is this: if I do not want people to stop inviting me to do certain activities, sometimes it will be up to ME to make the effort to invite a friend to get together, especially if I am the one limited in the activities that I can participate in. If you have an illness such as Dysautonomia, EDS, POTS, or even severe anxiety, it might be best if you ask others to get together under your terms so that whatever you end up doing you know you will be able to handle. Friendships are both give and take. So even though you may not feel well most of the time, if there are times where you would not mind seeing a friend for a little while, sometimes YOU have to step up and do the inviting. I know if you struggle with any sort of anxiety this can be a difficult task. However, it is necessary when it comes to maintaining healthy friendships and relationships.

 

I hope this post was helpful for some of you who are in the same situation as I am! Have a great weekend everyone ❤

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3 thoughts on “What I Want My Friends To Know

  1. I know you already know this, but I absolutely adore hanging out with you whether we are going out places or just hanging out at one of our houses! I will never be mad at you for cancelling and completely understand that you have your good days and your bad. That is a part of life, everyone has there ups and downs. Just know that I will always stick by you. That is what best friends are for, right? 🙂 I’m proud of you for taking care of yourself by declining. That shows you are listening to your body and taking care of yourself. Hang in there, lovely. I’ll be home soon and I’m going to learn how to drive to your house and then we can snuggle on the off days 🙂 hehe.

    Love you!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Well thought-out decision about the concert. And because it was well thought-out, be satisfied with it and move on. One of my favorite people in the world is Malala Yousafzai, the Pakistani girl who survived being shot by the Taliban while on her school bus. They don’t want girls to be educated. She is the youngest Nobel Peace Prize winner ever. I noticed she would be speaking in Denver, where I live. There were even some seats still available when I checked. How exciting! But not for me. I read her book, I am Malala, and I proudly display it in my home. So I got the feeling that I should have bought a ticket to see Malala in person. But I didn’t want to go. Crowds just aren’t my thing. And when I told my mother that Malala was coming to my town, she said something like, “You love Malala; are you going?” Again I felt like I should be going, but I made an excuse. Now I see that I just have to make a decision that is right for me, be satisfied with it, and move on. I cherish my Malala book, I’ve seen her speak on television, and I am excited for her to be traveling around the globe speaking for girls’ education. I will support her from home. Go Malala!

    Like

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