Survive: a day at a time

survive

Well it is another morning with Dysautonomia…waking up with a major headache, fatigued, and just achy all over. It is a cloudy, overcast day here in Buffalo, and my body can pretty much tell the weather. This being said, I still have a lot to be grateful for. I read the April 27th passage this morning from Demi Lovato’s book Staying Strong, and it could not have been more accurate for today. The quote reads “start where you are. use what you have. do what you can”-Arthur Ashe. At the bottom of the page following this quote, Demi’s suggested goal for the day states “whatever you feel when you wake up is good enough; just start with that and make the most of today.” That is my only job for today. In fact, that is all anyone has to do for the day.

When I think about this picture above that I call “Survived”, there is so much that floods into my head. I look at that and I can say that I am grateful that I survived this past year and that I am alive today. The previous year was a very difficult one; it was a year where I spent most of my time in treatment facilities for my eating disorder, it was a year that I spent a week in the hospital where I was diagnosed with POTS, MCAS, and EDS. It was a year filled with panic, anxiety, depression, and suicidal thoughts. We are now 4 months into the new year of 2015, and in many ways things have really started to turn around for me-and I am eternally grateful. For starters, I am finally home with my family and no longer in residential treatment; I have some motivation back-motivation to get well that was missing for a long time. I may not be feeling my best today, but I can still make the most of today and do what my body is willing to allow me to do. And if my body is telling me that I cannot do much of anything, well thats alright, too. I just need to acknowledge where I am at, use what I have, do what I can, and hope that tomorrow is a better day. That is all any of us can do. 🙂

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